I'd rather sit here with You
And perceive myself alone
Than search for her cold comfort
In a love long overthrown.

The Enemy

Why do you let me live
When you know I need to die?
I never had a thing to give
... To all your asking 'why.'

Yet, I'll send you running
Away from me again,
With such a keen cunning
You'll think me your best friend.

All the while I am the foe
You never would suspect
Who steals from you that I might grow -
Your Dark God-elect.

So of course you will not kill
Because I have such a charm
As to take over your will
And from God your life disarm.

The Ultimate Sacrifice

In the end, everything comes down to this that you must choose:  do you want your suffering, or do you want God?

God knows the choice you've made for all your years now. 
Do you want your suffering? 
God knows all you have thought, all the violent, angry, and cunning cogitations, for all your years now. 
Do you need your suffering?
God knows the lengths you have gone to hide yourself from yourself for all your years now.
Do you covet your suffering?
God knows all the precious moments you have run from to protect yourself for all your years now.
Do you crave your suffering?
God knows all the hearts you have trampled on to elevate yourself for all your years now.
Do you love your suffering?

God knows it all, has seen it all, has been there through it all, has experienced it all, is with you even now. 

God does not hate you.
You hate you.
God does not judge you.
You judge you.
God does not wish you harm. 
You wish you harm.
God does not give you guilt.
You give you guilt.
God does not withhold from you love.
You withhold love from you.
God does not make you unloving toward others.
You make you unloving toward others.
God does not ask you to suffer.
You ask you to bow down before your god:  suffering.  For the mere sensation of life rather than the profound living of it.

The heart-rending groans while in the throes of choosing to give up and let die your suffering are surely the heavenly sounds of the angels motivating and celebrating with song your freedom.  Don't stop.  Don't turn away now, though it hurts.  God is calling you home.  You are oh so near.  Go the rest of the way.

Why does God love me so much? 

God gives me love even though I don't deserve it.  I want to give love even when a person does not deserve it.

Love is receiving what you don't deserve.
Love is giving what you don't have.

W.B. to T.J.

You're done with all that there - that saddening
of heart, that parting of ways, that traversing
of streets worn bare with the mind's maddening
penchant for undying through ceaseless conversing

over what is past, passing, or to come. 
Now is before you if you hold it there
and agree to set fire to all you become
as this Second Coming places you where

this woman called you can be undone.

Winter Lyric

This weekend, you reined creativity
On me.  Back again like the sight of breath
At the return of winter.  Seems like spring
When for so long now my heart was barren

Of the nourishing light, soil, and seed
Your love provides to sow this need.