Sleepy Night of the Soul

Hello everyone. I have missed writing on here. I have received some topics that I would like to develop and publish on here, but I simply have not made the time as yet. And that's ok, too. Yesterday while flying from Salt Lake City to Dallas, I was reading an excellent book I just bought entitled The Power of Now by a man named Eckhart Tolle. There was a statement in there that pointed the light of my consciousness directly at a part of my being I all too often resist:

There will be times of low as well as high energy. There will be periods when you are highly active and creative, but there may also be times when everything seems stagnant, when it seems that you are not getting anywhere, not achieving anything....Many illnesses are created through fighting against the cycles of low energy, which are vital for regeneration. The compulsion to do, and the tendency to derive your sense of self-worth and identity from external factors such as achievement, is an inevitable illusion as long as you are identified with the mind. This makes it hard or impossible for you to accept the low cycles and allow them to be. Thus, the intelligence of the organism may take over as a self-protective measure and create an illness in order to force you to stop, so that the necessary regeneration can take place. (184)

Many of us (including me) have known the pain of pushing ourselves through these low energy cycles. However, I have never quite looked at myself doing that in this light. There is a summer and there is a winter. Everywhere we look in nature and in the physical world in general, we find a period of great vitality followed by (or, rather, following) a dormant stage. This "low energy cycle" is absolutely essential for all living things, and it the acceptance of the necessity of both cycles that enables all living beings in nature to surrender to this cycle without anxiety over the inactivity of the season and without judgment of this natural process, and for this unconditional surrender, all of nature returns each spring more splendid than ever. All living creatures except, of course, human beings. No, we are drawn along by a compulsion of the mind to keep doing, doing, doing - to force ourselves to work longer, to accomplish more, to be the best, to achieve success, to look good in the eyes of others, and other such nonsense. If only we were to hear the lessons of Nature, to look deeply into the barren winter and know that it is the seed of magnificent spring and summer, we would then know the beauty of winter and the joy and wonder of the winter of the heart.

I think of all the times I force myself into "doingness" even for supposedly good deeds. Such as experiencing mental and physical fatigue but feeling compelled to be active with the kids in order to keep my mind from judging me a "bad father." Is not this nonsense? Can I not be an excellent father by showing my children that activity does not equate with success? Is it not more important to lead them by example into a state of freedom from the throes of judgment - either self-judgment or the judgment of others. This is just one example, but I think it acutely emphasizes what Tolle is saying. In those moments, I am "identified" with the mind, yet I am a "house divided against itself" because my energy level is very low while my thoughts tell me I'd better get moving or they will judge me. And, taking it a step further, I am actually decreasing the quality of my interactions with my children and what we "do" together by not heeding and accepting the guidance of this lower energy state.

Tolle is not advocating laziness, and, at the same time, he is not condemning it either. His point is that we should be aware of these states and accept them. The only way this is possible is to stay awake to the present moment through acceptance of what is. As indicated by my personal example above, we are in perpetual denial of our dormant stages - because of an unconscious negative pressure within that drives us to go, Go, GO! - and it is because of this that we are so zombified as we live lives of dreadful routine in which creative positive action and real change cannot be fathomed by our burnt-out thoughts nor by our worn-down feelings due to our glossy-eyed exhaustion.

Winter is approaching. Stop for a moment each day just to notice the incredible love and compassion that provides all physical forms with such a period of gentle repose. Apply this same love and compassion you observe in nature to the wintry bare moments in your life. Know that these stagnant moments within you hold within them the seeds of magnificent creation and glory. Like nature (and we are a part of nature), accept with full gratitude and blessing the cycles of low energy that flow through you. I know deep in my heart - already! - that if we all practice this unconditional acceptance of what is, we will begin to change our world in a cosmically significant way.